That's right, *breath*, I can do it. Someone asked me recently:
"Hey, how's your manuscript going?"
To which I replied:
"Well, actually, I'm working on a "NEW" project...."
Short and sweet right?
But what I was really thinking was:
You get the picture.
It's easy to get down on yourself. I admit, I've been guilty of equating "starting something new" to "failure". How many times have I told myself "that's not going to be me". But here I am, in the throws of a brand spanking new project.
The good news is that the "N" word doesn't have to be a bad word.
Was it manuscript fatigue?
Something not working in the current story?
Something exciting about the new one?
Focusing on the positive is hard, but I can honestly say (after much introspection) that my early endeavour was not for naught. I learned SO MUCH from my first manuscript. I learned about what makes a good story, what my strengths are and what I need to improve on (not to mention, a lot about myself in the process). I went to workshops with the material and worked on it with agents and editors. I understand better where the market is now and where it's going and also what I want to present as my first book (should it get *fingers crossed* published).
All that helped me to develop my "new" idea. One that feeds off the knowledge that I gained and that fits my wants and needs and excites me all at the same time.
It's not to say I won't finish my first manuscript, maybe I'll come back to it later. But I've gained a new appreciation for writing, which really is like a relationship. You've got to nurture and work on it through the good times and the bad, but sometimes, a new boyfriend may be just what you need.