Thursday, June 19, 2014

Blogversary: On Realizing I Might Fail

Thinking to Inking is TWO and to celebrate we're taking a look back at some of our favorite posts and giving away lots of swag.  Make sure to check out the rafflecopter at the bottom of the post and enter to win!

Staying positive from the query trenches is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Which is why, when I had to choose a favorite of my past posts, this one came to mind. I was *this close* to giving up around the time this post was written. Luckily I had a friend who pulled me out of my funk. And if you happen to be in a funky spot, I hope that her advice helps pull you out of that negative space as well.

On Realizing I Might Fail

About a month ago I had a really bad day.

After months of polishing my query letter and putting the finishing touches on my manuscript, I was finally ready to put myself out there. I sent off my first batch of query letters and entered my first contest since wrapping revisions.

Then the day came for the contest participants to be announced. I opened blogger, heart pounding and hands sweating, sure that I would be among the chosen few selected to participate in the multi-agent event.

I wasn't. My entry didn't even get an honorable mention.

I opened my email in an attempt to distract myself. My first two form rejections were sitting in my inbox, smiling thier evil smiles.

I told myself that it was just a stupid contest and only a few measly rejections. There would be plenty of opportunities, the business is subjective, I was earning my stripes, it only takes one yes, etc. But something inside of me had shifted, because it was the first time I really considered the fact that I might fail.

Outside my window was a sea of grey - the fog had rolled in overnight, and San Francisco looked as bleak as I was starting to feel. It was July, but the temperature had dropped to the upper 50s. It was also Friday the 13th (no joke.)

Pity Party, table for one.

Several weeks later I went for a walk with a friend and lamented about my struggles. I looked her in the eye and said the words that had repeated in my head since that gloomy Friday afternoon: I might fail.

"Fail?" She said, eyebrows raising. "But you wrote a book. You. Wrote. A. Book. How is that failing?"

I'd never really thought about it that way.

I wrote a book. I actually finished an entire manuscript. In the process of doing that, I learned a ton about the publishing industry, met some new and wonderful people, improved my craft, started a blog, read and edited other writers' manuscripts, received positive reviews from beta readers (even had several stay up late reading because they couldn't put my story down). So why was I so obsessed with the idea of failure, when I had accomplished so much?

It's simple: I developed such a finite view of what success looked like that I lost sight of everything else. I couldn't see the trees for the forest, so to speak.

There are artists with paintings that will never make it past the refrigerator door, dancers who will never make it off the recital stage, and bands that will never make it out of their garage. But does that make them failures?

I would argue that the simple act of trying is a success in and of itself. How many people do you know that have actually attempted to make their dreams come true versus just talking and day dreaming about them? My guess is not many, because there is safety in not knowing.

For those of you who are on this crazy path to publication, don't forget to celebrate your small successes along the way. And don't lose sight of the biggest success of all - you wrote a book. You were brave enough to put yourself out there. You were brave enough to try. That alone deserves a little celebrating, no matter where your story ends up.

What have your recent successes been?
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  1. We've all been there. Probably more than once! It took about ten years from when I started pursuing publication to landing a book deal. But there were lots of small successes along the way (including many manuscripts from PB to YA). It's a crazy ride, isn't it?

  2. Yes, that is so life. Be grateful for what you have and celebrate whatever successes, big or small, that come your way. It isn't always easy, especially when your dreams are so big, but you have to make your own happiness in this world and roll with the punches. I am faced with these same issues with both my writing and my kids. Sigh, it is gut wrenching when things don't go as you planned, but take a deep breath, stand back, and look at what you do have. You'll be surprised to still find something wonderful and beautiful - like you wrote a freaking book or accomplished a great masterpiece or whatever. Hang in there because humanity creativity - all of it - is pretty amazing!!!