Taking Inspiration from Great First Lines

Did you know that Stephen King spends months, even years writing the first few lines of his novels? (Read the article in The Atlantic here.)

One of the things King says in the interview is this: "But there's one thing I'm sure about. An opening line should invite the reader to begin the story. It should say: Listen. Come in here. You want to know about this."

Just about every literary agent and editor I've ever heard speak agrees that first lines are vitally important in the modern literary world. This article from The Telegraph theorizes that this is largely due to the distractions of technology and the ability to "drop" a book and download another instantly if the first one doesn't grab you immediately.

So how do you make sure the first lines of your manuscript hook your readers? One of the best ways is to study examples of great ones from literature. Lines like "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." (1984) and "Marley was dead: to begin with." (A Christmas Carol) grab the reader instantly—you want to read on to find out why that would be, or why that would have been said like that. Check out an extensive list of great first lines here on Pub(lishing) Crawl.

If you need help getting your own first lines into shape, here are some online resources that may help:

• That All-Important First Line (from The Kill Zone)
• 6 Ways to Hook Your Reader from the Very First Line (from Write it Sideways)
• 7 Keys to Write the Perfect First Line of a Novel (from thewritepractice.com)
• Famous First Lines Reveal How to Start a Novel (from Writer's Digest)

Lessons From the Pitch Madness Slush

Last week, I had the privilege of assisting two hosts of Pitch Madness with their slush reading. (If you're not familiar with Pitch Madness, it's a blog-hosted contest where writers compete to get requests from agents to read their material. Find more information about this year's contest here.)

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you probably know I'm a big fan of online writing contests. In fact, that's how I got my agent! I've entered quite a few of them over the past few years, but this was the first time I got to see the process from the other side.

Holy crap is it different.

First, let me say that the writers who run these writing contests are saints. I had no idea how much time and energy went into making sure people followed the submission guidelines, following up on missing information, poring over agent wishlists, and reading hundreds of pitches. I was honestly shocked at how much work these hosts are doing, just out of the goodness of their hearts and desire to see other writers succeed.

Without further ado, here are the two main things I learned from reading through hundreds of entries.

1. Short pitches are really, really difficult.
The pitch required for this contest could only be 35 words, maximum. I saw so many entries that tried to cram too much information into this short format, only to end up with a confusing, convoluted pitch. There were more than a few entries that honestly made no sense at all.

Lesson to be learned here: if you're writing a short pitch, keep it as simple as possible. Don't try to mention subplots, minor characters, or overall themes. A tried-and-true approach is this general format: When INCITING INCIDENT happens to MAIN CHARACTER, he/she must OVERCOME CONFLICT by COMPLETING QUEST. (Paraphrased from former literary agent Nathan Bransford--check out his blog for tons of other great query/writing tips.)

2. The first line of your manuscript should be great. It should also set the tone for the rest of the book.
There were lots of pitches that sounded like one type of book (serious high fantasy, for example), but the first line would be something flippant that sounded like it belonged in a women's fiction book.

The first line of your manuscript should be worked over until it's perfect. I had heard that some agents quit reading if they didn't like the first sentence, and I found myself doing the same thing a few times. If that sentence has clunky writing, mechanics errors, or is confusing, you're running the risk that your reader will stop right there.

Conversely, there were some stellar first sentences that made me take a second look at entries where the pitch wasn't as good. My favorites were witty, or infused so much of the main character's voice into just one sentence that I was compelled to keep reading.


For a far more comprehensive wrap-up from another Pitch Madness slush reader, check out LL McKinney's post on the Cue My Muse blog. She delves into the most common errors she saw in both the pitches and the first 250 words and includes some excellent tips.

YA Book Pick: FANGIRL by Rainbow Rowell

Once a month, we choose an outstanding YA book to review. We want to spotlight books of interest to aspiring writers, as well as highlight some of our favorite books and authors!

This month's Book Pick is FANGIRL by Rainbow Rowell.

Synopsis (from Goodreads):

A coming-of-age tale of fan fiction, family and first love. 

Cath is a Simon Snow fan.

Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan . . .

But for Cath, being a fan is her life — and she’s really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it’s what got them through their mother leaving.

Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere.

Cath’s sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can’t let go. She doesn’t want to.

Now that they’re going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn’t want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. She’s got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words . . . And she can’t stop worrying about her dad, who’s loving and fragile and has never really been alone.

For Cath, the question is: Can she do this?

Can she make it without Wren holding her hand? Is she ready to start living her own life? Writing her own stories?

And does she even want to move on if it means leaving Simon Snow behind?

First Line: "There was a boy in her room."

This is a great first line, because it sets up the conflict immediately. Our viewpoint character is someone who isn't comfortable having boys in her room. The next few lines make it clear that Cath has just arrived at her new dorm and is sort of freaking out about the newness of everything.

Highlights: Gosh, where to start? First, let me say that I devoured this book. I literally couldn't put it down. My YA fiction taste tends to skew more speculative, but this contemporary novel completely won me over (much like ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS and LOLA AND THE BOY NEXT DOOR by Stephanie Perkins--also highly recommended).

I gushed about Rainbow Rowell nailing the teenage voice in my review of her last book, ELEANOR & PARK. This book is even better. Cath, her sister Wren, the boys in her life, her roommate Reagan--any one of them could have stepped right out of life and into her book. The central romance is sweet without being cloying or sappy. Cath's fears and doubts about her love life will ring true for anyone, not just eighteen-year-olds.

The author's take on the subject of fandom and fanfiction writing is gentle, but also realistic. As someone who spent her teenage years obsessed with the TV show The X-Files, I saw a lot of myself in Cath. I think a lot of readers will be able to relate to this, no matter what their age.

A Good Read For: YA contemporary/romance writers searching for great examples of teenage voice or a slow-build romantic relationship. Although the book was marketed as YA rather than New Adult, it is set in the first year of college and therefore might be of interest to NA writers as well.

YA Book Pick: LEGEND

On the second Monday of every month, we choose an outstanding YA book to review. We want to spotlight books of interest to aspiring writers, as well as highlight some of our favorite books and authors!

This month's book pick is LEGEND by Marie Lu.


Synopsis (from Goodreads): What was once the western United States is now home to the Republic, a nation perpetually at war with its neighbors. Born into an elite family in one of the Republic’s wealthiest districts, fifteen-year-old June is a prodigy being groomed for success in the Republic’s highest military circles. Born into the slums, fifteen-year-old Day is the country’s most wanted criminal. But his motives may not be as malicious as they seem.

From very different worlds, June and Day have no reason to cross paths—until the day June’s brother, Metias, is murdered and Day becomes the prime suspect. Caught in the ultimate game of cat and mouse, Day is in a race for his family’s survival, while June seeks to avenge Metias’s death. But in a shocking turn of events, the two uncover the truth of what has really brought them together, and the sinister lengths their country will go to keep its secrets.

First Line: "My mother thinks I'm dead." 

This is a great first line for several reasons. First, it makes you want to read on. Why does this person's mother think he's dead? Why would he allow his mother to think that, since it's (obviously) not the case? It also immediately establishes the protagonist as someone who has family who would care if he's dead, which isn't always a given in dystopian fiction.

Highlights: I loved the whole book. I took it with me on a five-hour plane ride, along with my laptop, some knitting, and a magazine. When I sat down, I pulled out the book, thinking I'd read for a little while, then work on other things. When I landed, the laptop, knitting, and magazine were untouched, but the book was done!

June and Day's relationship was fascinating and layered. June's belief that Day was the one who killed her brother gave them a very good reason to dislike each other, even though they had a lot in common (and an immediate physical attraction). This was a believable way to prolong the tension between them, something that isn't always done well in books with a romantic plotline.

I also really liked the fact that the book didn't spend much time talking about what happened to change society. There were enough clues given to make me curious about the backstory, but the main focus was what was happening to those characters now.

Notes for Writers: This is the first book I've read that uses different colors (and fonts) for each POV character. When I first started reading, I honestly wondered if it would annoy me, but after the first couple of switches I really appreciated the visual cue that we were in the other character's head. I'm usually not a huge fan of switching POVs in the first place, but it didn't bother me at all here.

A Good Read For: Fans of/writers of dystopian fiction, science fiction, and action-adventure. The novel is very well-paced, with an excellent mix of tense action scenes and quieter, more contemplative moments.

The next book in the series, PRODIGY, has a release date of January 29, 2013. I can't wait!

See more YA Book Picks here.