Grammar Gripe: I/Me Errors

Although I've tried not to let it show too much on this blog, my friends and critique partners will tell you that I'm a bit of a grammar stickler (that sounds nicer than nazi, right?).

Unfortunately, there's one I can't keep to myself anymore. In the past few weeks alone, I have heard approximately 4 billion* I/me errors. These aren't just being made by non-writer family members and friends. I've heard lines like "he gave it to her and I" on TV shows, seen them written in magazines, and horror of all horrors, even found one in a published novel.

This error is rampant in popular music, too. Lady Gaga alone has not one, but two major hits that prominently feature I/me errors. In the song "You and I," there's the line "Yeah, something about, baby, you and I." The song "Bad Romance" has this lovely gem: "You and me could write a bad romance."

Clearly knowing when to use "I" and when to use "me" can be confusing. Below is a quick rundown on the rules. I'm going to try to avoid using a lot of complicated grammar terms, because I have a feeling that's where most people get bogged down.

Rule #1: Use "I" for the subject of the sentence (the person who's performing the action). 
This is why we say I went to the store rather than Me went to the store. If there's more than one person performing the action, that's okay--you should still use "I" (as in Tony and I went to the store).

The only place where this rule gets tricky is when a word acting as a subject in the sentence isn't at the beginning. For example, if you were to say This is the one I like, it's correct to use "I" instead of "me" because "I" is doing something (in this case, liking).

Rule #2: Use "me" when the action of the verb is being done to the person.
This could be a straightforward sentence like My sister hit me or a more complicated one like Lucy wrote an email that she forwarded to Jackie and me. (Notice that in the last example, "me" is the object of a preposition. In this case, you would always use "me" instead of "I.")

Again, the sentence order could be switched around so you end up with "me" at the beginning. In the sentence Between you and me, this isn't a good idea, the correct word to use is "me" because it's the object of the preposition "between."

Quick and Very Useful Tip: Most of the confusion comes from instances where the "I" or "me" is connected to another pronoun or name. Example: He told the good news to her and (I or me?)

When you encounter a sentence like this and aren't sure which one to use, try writing or saying the sentence without the first pronoun and the conjunction. So for this example, the choices would become He told the good news to I or He told the good news to me.

It's pretty easy to hear that "me" would be correct, isn't it?

If you're more confused than before, or if you're looking for a more in-depth discussion of I/me errors, try the following links:

Grammar Girl: Between You and Me
Oxford Dictionaries: "I" or "me"?
WikiHow: How to Choose Between "I" and "Me"

*This is a slight exaggeration. It was probably more like 3.8 billion.

Writer's Resource: Grammar Help

Look out, I'm going to say it. The "g" word.

Grammar.

Calm down, calm down. It's not that bad. Sure, having decent grammar is important to writing. And sure, the rules of English grammar can be hard to understand at times (and sometimes they even change!). But there are many ways you can improve your grammar without having to go back to high school English class.

One of the best resources on the web is quickanddirtytips.com's Grammar Girl. This site features a wealth of easily understandable information on thorny topics like affect vs. effect, who vs. whom, and correct apostrophe use. And she also has a book:

Believe it or not, the comic blog The Oatmeal can also be a good place to go for easy to understand grammar comics punctuated with some risqué humor. Try "How and why to use whom in a sentence" or "How to use a semicolon (the most feared punctuation on earth)."

For those who prefer to go old school for their grammar info, there's the classic reference book The Elements of Style. The title is somewhat misleading, because this book has a lot more to do with grammar and effective writing than personal style.

Do you have a go-to grammar reference, on the web or off?

Shifting Conventions, or an Ode to the Oxford Comma

I started writing seriously a few years ago, and one of the first things I noticed was that some grammar, spelling, and punctuation rules had changed since I learned them in school.



For example, the word "alright." When I critiqued a friend's manuscript for the first time, I confidently drew a big circle around the word in red--because of course the correct term was "all right." As far as I knew, "alright" wasn't even a word, just a misspelling.

Sure, The Who sang "The Kids Are Alright" as far back as 1965, but they were The Who. They could pretty much spell things however they wanted.



 I was pretty much the guy writing to the newspaper in this comic:

Then my friend pointed out that many dictionaries now include "alright" as an acceptable spelling of the word. Merriam-Webster even goes so far as to say, "It is quite common in fictional dialogue, and is used occasionally in other writing."

After my initial reaction (betrayal! Merriam-Webster, how could you?) had died down, I got to thinking about the shifting nature of what I had always thought were iron-clad rules. I read several excellent articles on the subject, most of which pointed out the obvious: languages evolve. We don't spell things the same way or use the same grammar and punctuation rules as we did two hundred years ago, so why should we expect things to remain static now?

Another rule I had to wrap my head around was the slow phasing-out of my beloved Oxford comma. I used to argue it was necessary in all cases. I would point to absurdities like this:

But the real, honest truth of the matter is that almost every sentence makes sense without it. That doesn't mean I won't keep using it in all cases--it avoids ambiguity, and frankly I just think it makes the sentence look nicer and more balanced--but there's room for other opinions.

Another rude awakening for me was the modern publishing convention to use only one space after a period instead of two. When I learned to touch-type in middle school the satisfying "thwack thwack!" of the double space was an essential part of the rhythm. 

But this one is more open and shut: the publishing industry has come down on the side of only one space between sentences. Just about any reference you check agrees that in the post-typewriter and monospaced fonts era, there isn't any need to use two spaces after a period--and your published book almost certainly won't.

Changing habits of many years isn't easy. I don't think I could ever write "alright" in a manuscript, and I'm going to keep using the Oxford comma... but I've embraced one period after a sentence. I'm also working on being more accepting (or, to put it another way, not instantly judgmental) of those who choose to move with the times.